Returning to your normal routine
After a breakup not only do you miss the person, but you miss the routine you had with them. Whether you lived together or not. You miss the waking up to them, the morning calls from them, your weekly date night or the constant tradition planned vacations. How ever long it was that you were together your routine by yourself was changed. Now you must go through a weird adjustment period where you must remember what your life was like before that person entered it. What you did every day, how you functioned, and what your hobbies were. Even if some of those things were things you did before you were with that person and then you integrated it into your relationship. You will still have to slowly go back to those things. There is also another way, if going back is too difficult then go forward. Create a new routine, get new hobbies, and allow yourself to heal by being who you could not be with them. When you put your big boy/girl pants on you can come back into the reality land started asking yourself why did you break up? What part did I play? You have not spent a Christmas alone in years.
Building a better life
The holidays may make you sad because you remember what you did together on Christmas. The holidays are supposed to be full of good tidings and Yule time carols but why are you feeling so sad and alone? This Christmas will be different, don’t focus on that person not being there focus on you first. This is now the time for you to focus on you, fixing on you. There is nothing worse than moving into a new relationship carrying over old bones and broken hearts. Have you heard the saying, it takes one rotten apple to spoil the bunch? Just imagine getting a new bag of apples washing them and putting them in the fruit bowl, then you put all the apples from before on top of the new ones. Well what do you think will happen? Exactly the old rotten apple will start to mess up the new apples. So, before you start focusing on a new relationship figure out what was wrong with the old batch first. Start fixing you, loving you and healing you.
Do not carry over old hurts and pains into a new relationship. It is imperative that before you can accomplish your dreams and goals at your fullest potential, you must identify and fix what is broken in you first.
To reiterate, when you ask me Erica Lynn, where should I start or what is my first step? My response is and always will be
Let’s Start With You!
When you obtain the knowledge that is needed, you will grow.
When you step out of your comfort zone and address your underlining issues then you will heal.
When you obtain the systems and team of support, you will do away with the negative questions:
- What did I do wrong?
- Why did the other person do me that way?
- Why did it not work out?
- Why do it hurt so bad?
You must take a moment to breathe, heal and grow into your next level!